My girlfriend has bad self esteem. Portrait tips?

Joined: 17 Feb 2006 Posts: 121 Location: New Milford, NJ

She never wants to be photographed but I know if she really gave me a chance I could make her see how pretty she is. Everytime I try though, the lighting is very flat and harsh and her skin does not look good. She is not good at smiling on command and shes self conscious about her nose.

I really don't know what to do. She would be the easiest person to practice portrait photography on for me, but I never have any luck taking pictures of her. Anybody have tips?

Premium Member Joined: 02 Apr 2005 Posts: 2020

Most people think they look bad in pictures. It is because they see their photo and notice only the flaws. Even people who have no reason to be camera shy from a "looks" perspective seem bent on making things up about their looks.

Take this for example:

You see the girl on the right? She INSISTS that she looks dorky in all photographs of her. Getting her in the picture here was a massive fight, but in the end she gave up and this is the result. Does she look dorky to you?

Because I had a good rapport with her, I was able to get her into the picture, and even managed to get a nice smile. She has since decided to hire me to do a family portrait session with her, her mom, and sister. That happened not because I'm a such a great photog - far from it - but because I made her feel comfortable with me taking the pictures.

Trying to convince your GF into a shoot by telling her how pretty she is, probably will not work. She expects you to think she's pretty.

I would suggest, asking her if she would help you become a better photographer, by being your teacher. This puts here in a seemingly less vulnerable place. (Being in front of a lens is very intimidating for many people.) She can teach you by allowing you to try posing her and working with the lights so you can see the results. Tell her that the photos are just for you and her, and that no one else will see them, and KEEP your promise.

A couple of pointers to keep you in her good graces.

- Bad pictures are YOUR fault. YOU forgot to turn the flash the right way, or YOU had it set too high, etc..

- Compliment her during the shoot. "Lovely" "VERY nice!"

- NEVER Lose your cool with her or get frustrated with her or your equipment. If you feel that you're getting tense, it is break time. Take your model for a walk, let her know how greatful you are for helping you like this, etc..

Joined: 21 Oct 2006 Posts: 350 Location: Ontario, Canada

Well said SingleMalt.

Window light and a cable release soften the skin and atmosphere and allow candid captures of her relaxed moments.

Longer focal lengths reduce the apparent size of the proboscis.

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:49 pm

Kanephan wrote:

... shes self conscious about her nose...

Why is she self coscious about her nose? Is it larger than usuall. A wide angle lens will make a nose appear larger. While telefoto lens will make it look flatter. If she thinks her nose is too large, please don't stick a 17mm focal lenth lens in her face.

Joined: 17 Feb 2006 Posts: 121 Location: New Milford, NJ

She thinks its too large. I was using the 18-70 kit lens and standing back adn zooming all the way in.

But I've heard tips on making noses look smaller and they vary a lot. Some say tilt the face down, some day to an angle, some day look straight forward, theres also disagreements on lighting. Whats the best way to take away some emphasis from the nose?

Joined: 13 Jan 2007 Posts: 245 Location: Maryland

I think that maybe people are used to seeing themselves everyday in a mirror, which is not a true representation of the way we look, (it reverses our features) And when they see a photograph, they look odd, different, to themselves. Well it's just a theory of mine anyway.

-As suggested, use a longer focal length.

-Short lighting is usually recommended for portraits of women, but try using a bit flatter light. Move the light in front of her a bit more than usual, to reduce the nose shadow. Use less contrasty light too, perhaps.

-Anything but a profile, 2/3 might not even be good. A full face would reduce it the most.

-When your around her, observe to see what angle her nose seems most flattered (smaller) Don't be obvious about it of course, but when you don't have a camera in your hand, just spending time with her, see if a camera angle a bit higher would seem ok, or like above, check out her head angle, perhaps less than 2/3, full face only... observe as you sit around or eat dinner ect.

hope this helps,
Jacque

Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 9:32 am

Maybe try photographing her interacting with something, instead of just sitting pretty for the camera. Some people feel more comfortable with a prop or an item they love to use. For instance, if she loves cooking, then arm her with a wooden spoon, and set her in the kitchen.

Lots of window light on one side of the face, with some reflected back is nice and soft.

Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 10:47 am

Jacque D wrote:

I think that maybe people are used to seeing themselves everyday in a mirror, which is not a true representation of the way we look, (it reverses our features) And when they see a photograph, they look odd, different, to themselves. Well it's just a theory of mine anyway.

This is right on. I've tried a little experiment. After shooting several shots for a portrait session I process the files to show to the client. But, on some of the shots I flip horizontally so it is actually a mirror image of them, how the see themselves in the mirror. I do not tell them what I did or to what shots and they almost always favor the mirrored shots. After the pick them I let them in on the secret to see if they still want to order those shots because although it looks 'right' to them it will not to anyone else who knows them. But most of the time people can't put their finger on what is different.

Joined: 07 May 2006 Posts: 108 Location: Denver, Colorado

Thanks for posting your tips, SingleMalt, I am going to try them as well because so many people I know are camera "shy". One person thinking she looks bad, when she doesn't.